Sitting here in the warm sunshine looking out over the vast vista of central Alaska, I find myself surprised at the way this place has begun to pull at my heart. I wish I knew how many times I have told people that, “Alaska is okay, but it is not home”. Now I wish I could say that is completely true.
Home. What a simple sounding word. So many common sayings pop into my mind like; “Home is where the heart is”. How I wish it were that simple. But what if your heart is in two places? It is a sad and sometimes lonely feeling to gaze into the distance and think of loved ones who are so very far to the south. Yet, a joyful feeling is also intermingled within me to see the joy and adventure on the face of another who is also so close to my heart.
Home. Will it ever be a simple choice for me? I don’t know. But for now it is here in the heart of Alaska, a beautiful place that I have found myself loving for its wild beauty and vast distances, even though it is much too great a distance from the place I originally called home.
4 comments:
Hi - Great photo! At the beginning I felt your story and it matched the picture. I did have a small squint when you started writing about home. In my mind I pictured a home and heart and had to shake back. Once I did,I got it. Your story is so true, it's very difficult to live so far away from family. Alaska does pull you and somehow you'll reconcile wherever you live. But it sounds like you already have part of your heart in both places.
One of the striking things about your story is that I think many people share your enjoyment of Alaska's space and wilderness, but miss the close connections of their original homes. I thought the photograph you chose to illustrate your story was perfect - a person alone looking out over a beautiful, but vast, distance. Alaska is my original home, so I have an opposite experience when I leave for long periods. I really enjoy the compact populations and energy of the big cities, and yet have always come back "home".
Alisa, I thought the contrast between you and our vast surrounds punctuated the ambiguity I felt as you reconcile the meaning of "home". I don't know if that was your intent, but I know that is what I felt.
Alisa, I enjoyed reading your story about "home". I connected and share your feeling about deciding if you can allow the word "Home" to mean Alaska. It took us about three years to finally call it home. It just takes a travel outside to come back and realize that it's true!
Thanks for sharing.
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